Updated: Apr 29
Victimisation! It's a word that brings up quite an interesting response in most people I've met. Take a moment and say the word out loud and feel where it resonates in your body. Words have power!
So are you the kind of person who says victimisation is something mean that other people do? Be honest, if not with me, then at least with yourself. If you feel this way, don't feel bad because you are most definitely not alone! The reason for this is simple. It's human nature. So the easiest way to avoid anything difficult in life is to promptly join the victim queue.
A while ago, I read a book that was a real eye-opener in the space of victimisation, written by Dr Wayne Dyer. It was called 'Pulling your own strings'. If you haven't read any other Wayne Dyer books, you are in for a treat with this introduction to his writing. If you have read his work before, you will understand what I mean when I say he has a beautiful way with words.
Learning to understand how people victimise us, and how we completely buy into the victim mentality, has the propensity to be a game-changer in your life. When you read this book you will be surprised how not only the people who you love and respect victimise you. You will also uncover how you victimise others you love, and most importantly how you victimise yourself.
There is literally, no stone left unturned in this book, to help you to understand how to take control of your life. You will uncover that you are literally being victimised, every time you find yourself out of control in your life. Sometimes, this is at the hands of others, but too often it is in our very own hands. We subject ourselves to victimisation from expectations from our partners, children, parents, friends and co-workers in a relentless power struggle that seems to be life.
Escaping victimisation occurs in three steps. First, you need to identify that you have indeed become a victim. Then you need to understand whether it was self-created or a gift from someone else that you willfully accepted. Once you start to see where the victimisation patterns form in your life, you can learn to cut them off at the pass.
Now, let us be completely clear, victimisation is a habit. It takes time to undo the habits of our past, especially if they have been long engrained. Should you decide to go down the path of understanding how to pull your own strings, be gentle and understanding. It takes time to undo the damage and to retrain the mind and your relationships with others.
What I can tell you is, that if you decide to take back control of your life, you will never look back. The perils of victimisation are cumbersome and detrimental to our overall health and well being. I know this because I myself was both a victim of others and a victim of my self-sabotage. Victimising yourself is so often found in the simple berating that we give ourselves, when we make mistakes, teaching us to believe we are not good enough, worthy of greatness, or sometimes even of love itself.
Is something starting to sound familiar here? Are you sometimes your own worst enemy? If you are, then you are most definitely a victim or your own victimisation.
Taking control of your life has far-reaching consequences. You can learn to operate from a position of strength and overcome internal fears that have allowed you to be the victim for sometimes many years, even your entire life. You can find your courage inside and foster strength of character that others will respect, and be less likely to both pull the victim card, or allow the victim game to begin in every circumstance in your life.
As part of regaining control, you are then teaching others how you want to be treated. Who doesn't what clarity in this space? right? We all would like to be treated better in some part of our lives, whether it be work or personal.
Getting off the victim bandwagon might just be the most rewarding thing you can do for your self-esteem and personal growth, not to mention to lead the way for others in your life.
Everything that exists in the world, does so independently of your opinion about it. How profound is this statement? We place more value in our beliefs about our attitudes toward what is real, than the actual reality itself.
Take the simple example of how we describe the weather when we proclaim that today the rainy weather is lousy. The rainy weather simply is but our belief that it is lousy is more valuable to us, than the actual rainy weather itself. These are simply the words we apply based on our opinion of what is reality.
Once you decide something is bad, then you create a judgement around it and it sticks, like sh*t to a blanket, so to speak. It then becomes victimisation by the way of judgement and judgement is the victim stick we bash both ourselves and others frequently, with what seems like unreasonable consistency.
In this book by Wayne Dyer, you are bound to have many OMG moments! Congratulations if this happens to you, you've already stumbled on stage one of victimisation, awareness.
Mindfulness has a beautiful way to uncover and support changing behaviours around victimisation, that can be hugely beneficial in every area of your life.
Would like to know how to take control of your life and stop being the victim, or accidental habitual perpetrator of victimisation?
Follow my blog on social media
Twitter - https://twitter.com/aniplapeo
If you would like to listen to my blog on the go, connect with me through Medium
Your best life ever, filled with more constructive habits and happiness awaits you! What are you waiting for?