For most of us in life forgiveness feels like a very bitter pill to swallow. We often feel forgiveness is a sign of weakness. On top of that through the conditions we have been raised in, we have learned a set of values which determine if forgiveness is even possible at all.
Is there someone in your life you simply have not been able to forgive? Does merely thinking of the situation make you feel angry or upset?
Through science, we have learned that re-living the hurt and suffering in our life brings to the surface the same impacts on our body each and every time. So if you felt hurt then, each and every time you think about it, you will re-live that hurt again and again. Doesn’t sound healthy, does it?
This pattern can happen for many years. In fact, by re-living the hurt again and again we actually build an entire story around the event. Years later it ends up looking nothing like the original event did at all, yet we don't even realise it.
I know this because I experienced it myself. As a child, I felt like I spent my entire childhood desperately seeking the approval and adoration of my father, yet I remained invisible. I held this pain in my heart into adulthood. Over time it went from hurt to anger and eventually to hate. It completely ate me up inside. If this has happened to you, don't feel alone! You are not an island. These situations with parents are more common than you think.
For me, other family members constantly poked and prodded me to make peace with my father. When they said to build a bridge, it actually felt like the bridge had literally been burned completely to the ground. It is not something that happens overnight. It takes a long and slow progression to break down a relationship with a parent.
However, with his passing, I learned that it is never too late to make peace with your past. It became a beautiful gift that I gave myself. It also became the gift that kept on giving. You see when I made peace with my past relationship with my father, it had a ripple effect across my entire life. Once I learned to see beyond the story I had built up as a child, I was able to recognise the good things that happened between us in life. I could also then see the valuable experiences he brought me in my life which are part of what makes me the person I am today.
Is a hurtful event from your past holding you back? Would you like to get it out of your head so you can move forward in your life?
The good news is that it is completely possible to eradicate it from your life as I did. This is because you hold the key. It is called forgiveness. It is the gift you give yourself. You don't forgive for the benefit of others. You do it to let go of the heartache or suffering. When you learn to let go you are then able to move forward ready for life’s great next adventure.
To learn how forgiveness is actually a beautiful act of self-love and how you too can make peace with your past book a FREE mindfulness discovery session with me.