How I learned the transformative superpower of allowing myself to cry

Updated: 6 days ago

Crying is a superpower! There it is. Now I've let the proverbial cat out of the bag, I guess I have some explaining to do right.

As a Mindfulness Coach, I have had the delightful good fortune of sharing this pearl of wisdom with many people. However, I thought it timely that I write about it through my own lived experience, so that you too may grow.

I'd like you to consider the concept that your tears may water the very soul of your being. Whether you are male, female, or don't relate to gender at all, or believe you have a soul or not. I recommend you read on because you might be surprised where I go with this.

Every tear you hold remains embodied within you, attached to the pain that induced it, then promptly buried deep within your body, your mind and your soul. Likewise, every tear you cry is a release along with the pain, suffering or sorrow that created it, allowing you to move forward beyond the experience.

So why is this important?

If you hold your tears in, you are simply gripping your suffering, which will ultimately cause dis-ease. Whether that is a dis-ease of the mind, the body or the soul. It will come when you least expect it and most likely when you don't want it.

Have you bottled up your tears? Have you held them back, through fear of being judged emotional or weak?

Through social and cultural conditioning, we are so often taught to hold our tears. We teach boys that it is not appropriate to cry. In society, we have conditioned ourselves to believe that tears are some form of weakness, whether relative to the workplace or at home.

I am here to tell you tears are a superpower! How do I know this, you might be asking? I virtually did not cry at all for almost twenty years. I can tell you it certainly wasn't for the lack of opportunity and or suffering. I learned through conditioning that tears were a sign of weakness, so I bottled them up.

I was a young woman working in highly male-dominated industries. I learned that if I didn't want to appear weak in front of my male counterparts, it was necessary to contain my emotions, in particular my tears. I held in so many tears, time and time again, that it literally made me sick. I ended up with chronic fatigue, and it felt like my body was attacking me from all angles. It wasn't pretty.

It took the repetition of several make-or-break moments in my life, to get me to see the damage I was doing to myself, by holding in my tears. When I finally surrendered, the flood gates opened, and I cried an absolute ocean. It was cathartic. What happened next was nothing short of miraculous. I healed! The chronic fatigue went away, along with a whole host of dis-ease that I held in my body. I will always be grateful that I was able to heal before disease became something more sinister like the big C word, cancer. Many are not so lucky.

In science, we are beginning to see and understand the potential benefits of crying, as a release and to avoid dis-ease. When women cry on average five times more frequently than men, it is no wonder that men generally have a shorter life span than women.

Men, is it is time to open the flood gates and let the tears flow?

Mindfulness practices can help you find your authenticity and the release points that allow the natural flow of tears. When you learn to embrace your emotions, you are less likely to explode and completely lose yourself in disease and endless suffering.

What would you rather, tears or cancer? A good cry or a heart attack? A sob or a breakdown? The choice is yours. Look to your tears like an act of letting go, a cathartic release so that you may move forward.

If you would like to know more about how mindfulness can help you to understand the transformative superpower of allowing yourself to cry?

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