Our lives are full of endings and beginnings that we apply labels to, some we believe are good and some bad. However, these are just labels of social & cultural conditioning.
For anything new to begin, something must end. A perfect example of this is for the beautiful sun to set, the day must end. We don't question these kinds of endings, because we assume another day is coming. However, Do we really know?
Enduring the end of a relationship is likely one of the most difficult endings to negotiate in life. We often put these kinds of endings off through strong emotions, including fear and guilt.
Are we scared of being alone? Will we survive out in the big wide world on our own? How will we make ends meet financially? How will it affect our children? These are all questions that we constantly ask ourselves.
These questions don't make the ending go away, but often simply cause delays and greater frustration. Sometimes these endings are also out of our control because our partner decides to move ahead in life without us.
When endings arise, there is change thrust upon us, often without our consent, and change is difficult for many of us to endure. However, a new perspective to change and endings of relationships can foster significant growth in you as both an individual, a parent and a future partner.
Have you been in a relationship that has spanned most of your adult life? Has it reached an ending? Some points in life are reached when two people simply grow apart. Denying this growth in a different direction, inevitably ends in disaster, coupled with regret and resentment. All of which in hindsight nobody wants.
I talk to people about the issues around navigating relationship ending regularly. It is a complex minefield that is scary to navigate of which I have experienced myself personally in life. Gaining skills in navigating the end of a relationship, whatever that relationship, are very worthwhile skills to build in life. These skills build self-confidence in dealing with difficult circumstances, and conversations that ensue, during the process of relationship endings.
Many years ago, as a young woman, I experienced the ending of my marriage. I was just twenty-five years of age when I sought a divorce from my husband, merely six years into our marriage. At the time, it was the hardest thing I had ever undertaken. It took me a long time to work up the courage to have the conversation in the first place, knowing that it would destroy my husband.
For many years after, I was riddled with a deep sense of guilt around the pain that I caused him. I didn't want to hurt him. There was no one else, even though he believed there was and proceeded to tell all our friends. We had simply grown apart, and I was not happy.
If you are currently enduring difficultly in deciding to end a relationship or your partner is suggesting the same, get some support. This support could save your relationship, and/or it could help you, to navigate the path forward in a better way for all parties concerned. In life, it is not all about enduring difficulty alone. There are always people who can help, whatever the outcome you are looking for in the end.
As a mindfulness coach, I help people to redesign their relationships in every part of their lives. You can do the same, once you gain the skills to apply.
Mindfulness skills can greatly help you to, build on your abilities to have these open and important conversations, earlier rather than later. Communication silence is so frequently a catalyst for devastating endings to relationships, leaving people hurt, and with un-answered questions. When this is taken forward into future relationships, the unsaid can cause no-end to problems time and time again.
Would you like to break the cycle and learn a better way to move forward in life?
I have a brand new, unique online program called 'relationship redesign'. Together we can, not only save the relationships you wish to maintain in your life, but also help you to successfully navigate the ones that need to end.
If you would like to learn more, reach out for a FREE thirty-minute discovery session about the course today. Places are strictly limited, so reserve your spot now!
Navigating the relationships in your life, is in your hands.