Redesigning Relationships series - part 3 - Intimate partners

Updated: Apr 29

We all long for that one special person to be in our life. Whether they are a man or woman and we choose to marry or not. As humans, we are just not designed to live solitary lives.

There is no other relationship that feels more integral to living a loving life than that which comes from the relationship built on pragma. The ancient Greek word describes the concept of committed love. Pragma is an enduring love that builds up slowly over time. Therefore, it takes time to develop and requires effort to maintain it through difficulties and differences.

We begin life supported by storge love, which underpins the backbone of family life. If you have felt unsupported by family love as a child, you are not alone. The lack of storge love can have a significant impact on the way you love yourself, and therefore, ultimately on how you can love others as intimate partners. This is where social & cultural conditioning takes a deep dive and impacts our ability to show up to love, and how that love unfolds for us.

Love exists beautifully within us all. However, sometimes it is obscured from view and therefore without liberation. Your deepest desire for pragma love could be hidden for a multitude of reasons. Remember that you are not alone. You do not face this path alone. Sometimes you need some extra help, to discover where it was lost or dampened in your past.

The pain of loss, heartache and being let down in life can hide your pragma (committed love), leaving that feeling you need to protect it deep in your subconscious. However, it is always there waiting for you to find just the right measure of courage, to allow it to surface.

In life, we will all have opportunities to open our hearts to pragma. When it arrives, it may take everything you have in your heart to reach it. But when you do, take heart (excuse the pun) in knowing that transformation is very possible indeed.

Don’t worry if you are scared to redesign your relationship with your current or future potential partners. Fear of surrendering to this kind of love is bred into us through social and cultural conditioning. Pragma requires surrendering to the potential of committing to something powerful. With a clear understanding of self, the deep-rooted fear, you hold on to so tightly, can be overcome.

Interestingly, we have fantasies about this kind of love with intimate partners. We watch it is movies, read it in books and dream of that magical kind of love that makes our hearts sing. Yet we are often riddled with fear and self-loathing, to welcome it into our life, when we hear the knock on the door.

Makes you think, doesn't it? Is your Prince charming or your beautifully divine feminine woman already in your life, yet your fear is blocking them from accessing your heart?

If you've had an intimate relationship go awry, or if your current relationship is headed off track, you are in good company. You have the power to redesign your relationship and get back on track at any time. The key is to understand the four areas in your life to heal, then you can move on to achieve the most out of life with your current or future partner.

Poor relationship management from childhood to adulthood, like every trigger starts with an imprint. Then throughout life, we build a story around the original event. We are then regularly triggered again and again. The story gets bigger, and so does the response, until one day the trigger is so great it causes an explosion. This is the most significant response to the original event. But wait, when this happens sometimes we just run away, hide or pretend, as though nothing happened. Fast forward to today, and we get triggered again, but this time our response seems uncalled for because we were triggered by something appearing to be small and insignificant.

Whether they be friends, family, intimate partners, or ourselves. All types of relationships we have in our life, have an impact on how we manage all the others as well. In simple terms, it is a tangled web of both complexity and simplicity all woven into one.

It is no wonder that we get confused about where to start to redesign our relationships for a better life. You've got the handbook. You've had it all along. As a mindfulness coach, I simply know where to guide you to look to find the right page.

It all begins with you! Would you like to discover how you can finally feel into that place to allow your heart to rest? It is possible for everyone, no matter your starting point because your heart is longing for a place to rest.

Once you master the art of relationship redesign, you can reapply the skills across all relationships in your life. This is where the magic of infinite potential is truly possible.

Want to know more about how you can redesign your intimate relationships through the power of mindfulness?

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