Updated: Apr 29
The position of parenting can be both powerful and fearful all at once. It does not matter whether you have cared for your own children or someone else’s. The role of the parent is where you can potentially cast a wide net of influence.
Your children are born in a state of complete reliance on you from the moment of birth to survive. Most parents will tell you that this is both their proudest and most daunting task in life.
It is a role lived out like a roller coaster ride, with no manual, no spare parts, no understanding of how to control the speed, and is potentially about as erratic as our ability to predict the weather.
Do you feel this way about your relationships with your children? Young or grown-up, does it feel like a never-ending potential crash? But at the same time, feeling both tiring and completely exhilarating?
Before your children were even a concept in your mind, your conditioning to parenting had already begun. This is a significant part of social and cultural conditioning that occurs throughout our entire lives. Effectively it is delivered by your parental influences, who are the role models in your life. So without knowing it, you have many generations of social & cultural conditioning embedded within you, which will influence the way you choose to do everything, including parenting. This in itself, is quite a significant concept to fathom.
I have never had the privilege of giving birth to my own child. However, I have followed in my dear mother’s footsteps. I have been, and continue to be, the mother to many in my life. It is not a position that I take lightly. As a Mindfulness Coach, I understand the influence that I can have on others around me.
I have had the privilege of working with children young and old, in education, yoga & mindfulness, supporting partners caring for their children and volunteering with charities. Children have long brought me an abundance of learning and joy. I marvel at their ability to be brave, not to mention their immense capacity for vulnerability and resilience.
In yogic philosophy, love without condition is for us all. So if like me, you find yourself without your own children, fear not, for there are many ways to support the beautiful children of all ages within all of humanity. When we choose to welcome all of humanity into our circle of love, all of humanity joins in loving us completely.
Like all things in life, sometimes we take parenting too seriously. Sure sometimes seriousness is essential, however so is joy, along with a whole bunch of other things, including making mistakes. As a parent or parental influence, it is impossible to get it right all the time. No one has all the answers. We learn, and we grow continually throughout life, and that includes during the years of parenting.
When we learn to understand the principles of growth as a parent, in conjunction with nurturing our children to grown. We then begin to see that our children bring valuable learning and growth into our lives in many ways. All parenting lessons are then invaluable for us all in learning to redesign our relationships with our children.
In times of worry, fear, hurt and separation in life as a parent, there are seeds of learning for both parents and the children. How we discover and handle those seeds has long term effects for all parties, that can continue well into adulthood.
Are you heeding the call to learn from your children? Or are you focused on teaching your children what you have already been pre-conditioned to teach them?
There is always an opportunity to revisit your relationships with your children, no matter where in life you find yourself. You can always step forward together on a new path, through understanding, communication, accountability and commitment, towards a better way to continue.
The choices you make to support mutually beneficial relationships with your children have the potential to re-invent future generations of families yet to be born.
Would like to understand more about how mindfulness can help you redesign your relationships with your children reach?
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Better relationships with your children and future generations of children begin with you.