Redesigning the relationship you have with yourself - part 1 - your body

Updated: Apr 29

No relationship in life is more important than the one you have with yourself. This is the relationship of philautia, as described in Ancient Greece. The beautiful art of self-love.

Self-love quite literally underpins every relationship you have had in your past, are having right now and will have in the future. The problem as with almost every word in the English language, this one too has been bastardised. Never the less, it is essential here to not diminish the importance of understanding and accepting yourself, exactly as you are right in this very moment.

Every relationship you engage in, whether they be personal or professional, is in fact, a direct reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

So basically speaking, your relationships with others, are in effect, merely a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. Like a giant mirror showing you yourself.

Now, this is where self-love potentially gets real tricky. Hold onto your hat and buckle in because the road is about to get a little bumpy!

Not only is what you see in others a reflection of how you see yourself. The things you don't like in others are also the things you don't like in yourself. Remember it is all a mirror effect! This the way that the world is trying to show you how to see yourself as you really are. Even if, it is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow.

In reality though, if you sit down and consider the judgements you make of others, with an open heart and mind, you will discover that they are too the judgements of yourself because life is a mirror.

To understand how this relates to the relationship we have specifically with our body is transformative in life.

Through a long history of social & cultural conditioning, body image has been blown, what seems completely out of all proportion. In the western world and likely the rest, we have grown to idolise the feminine youthful appearance as the ultimate source of beauty to aspire to. This has in effect, caused unrealistic views on the natural ageing process. Don't worry men are equally not lost in this idealisation of youthful appearances.

So where did we all go so wrong? Why are we dying our hair and desperately trying to avoid ageing at what seems any cost?

It is quite simple. We are presently being bombarded with a constant stream of unrealistic imagery, that is touched-up in every way possible. Now we don't even know what is real and what is not! So we feel insecure that we don't look like these images. News flash neither do the people in them in real life!

Then to add to this, from an alarmingly young age, children are quite literally dissolving their self-esteem right before our eyes.

So why are we not doing anything about this epidemic? We are literally in a snowstorm of low self-esteem at every age range. So, it seems almost impossible to shift the entire human race back to reality right?

Not at all. We simply need to see the reflection, understand the judgement, and learn to love ourselves again through acceptance in present moment awareness. This is the beautiful art of self-love. It is essential if we are to avoid a complete mental health meltdown in society. Of which we are already well on our way to, with no current plan to stop.

I am yet to meet a single person in my life, who has not at some point, struggled with body image. This is the slow burn pandemic that we have been inflicting on ourselves for centuries.

The most beautiful thing of all is that redirecting the ship of self-esteem is well within our reach. This is quite simply because it merely requires us to look inward. To focus on what we feel & think about ourselves, as opposed to worrying about what others think.

Do this for yourself, and for the sake of your mental wellbeing. The real magic happens when you do, because you step into your authenticity, allowing yourself to show up as you were always meant to be. When you do this, you give others permission to do the same. It is called the ripple effect.

I have personally experienced this transformation in my life. As a mindfulness coach, I support others on this journey of healing and acceptance. Together we are creating a movement of authenticity.

Poor relationship management from childhood to adulthood, like every trigger starts with an imprint. Then throughout life, we build a story around the original event. We are then regularly triggered again and again. The story gets bigger, and so does the response, until one day the trigger is so great it causes an explosion. This is the most significant response to the original event. But wait, when this happens sometimes we just run away, hide or pretend, as though nothing happened. Fast forward to today, and we get triggered again, but this time our response seems uncalled for because we were triggered by something appearing to be small and insignificant.

The triggers of low self-esteem are exacerbated because we are all reflecting low self-esteem on one another. We simply need to adjust what we are rippling. Instead of rippling low self-esteem, it is time to ripple authenticity.

When you show up authentically in the world, you are powerful, radiant and beautiful beyond measure. People around you feel it and will want to know how you got it.

You are in the driver's seat! Are you ready to take the wheel?

Want to know more about how you can step into your authenticity, and regain your self-esteem once and for all?

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